Category Archives: Heavy Metal

Gods Practical Joke - D-Bakl, Tinklepotty - Split (Cassette)

Date Flash Games Time Watch out — this is a simple enough game but, like Tetris, really sucks you in after a while. Time Gosh, Serenathanks for that. Time More on streaking for you to enjoy.

On the bus, I was safe from the murderous toy that lurks in the woods, but I could swear that the ticket machine was looking at me funny…. This weekend, I came across a couple at one boot sale who were tidying up the storage rooms in their little radio station.

Interesting things, promo CDs. They also give a very good indication of the large volume of quality material that gets released but never makes the charts. Time George Lucas will be judging a contest for fan-made films based on Star Wars. Time Seethru is now officially closedas the message goes. What a damn shame. They produced some of the best viral stuff in the last 12 months.

For this, they stay on the navbar for one more day as a mark of respect. Time Worth Time A great collection of cat attacks.

Date Mustard Man Returns! Date New Improved Bloggerheads Coming Soon Time OK, a great deal of the code is done and most all of the content is written and proof-read. Alls I have to do now is tidy up and link the front end. Should only take the rest of the day. Time Over or under? Crumple or fold? Time I was reading an old Freak Brothers book last night, and at the tail end no pun intended Fat Freddy was in a bar asserting that dogs were fascist.

His reasoning? Some are actually pretty smart. Time Vampire Lesbian Kickboxers. All right! The web rules! Now, onto that code…. Time Well, here it is. You may also note a change to the navbar on your left. Yep, Seethru and a few others have gone habits change, what can I say? Have fun poking around the new stuff — and please do let me know if you find any deliberate mistaks. Time I love it when a deserving publication enjoys a new lease of life on the web.

Time Cool, a new search engine to play with — Flipper. Time Well, the web is full of pleasant surprises today. Take a look at the future of democracy. Time Yet another dope has been caught having sex with an animal. This time a pony. I called the Home Office a few months ago to try and get some statistics, but they thought I was taking the piss. Time The BBC has introduced a new search engineand not everybody is happy about it.

The BBC claims theirs will be more useful, as things such as paid placement are polluting results in most search engines funny, I was just thinking that. But how big is the online presence of the BBC going to get? Time A great link from the deep bloggage of www. For example, I searched for a 6 foot blonde woman and got this selection of lovely ladies.

These ones are from the fugitive list, so therefore are available for immediate dating. Pretty sweet, huh? Time ITV Digital is to stop broadcasting all its pay TV services from midnight tonight and lay off a thousand or so workers in the process. Happily, Monkeh has already found new work. Time Meet the dickheads who invented Spam. Now some genius seems to think that everybody is going to flock to www.

The only thing hosted there is the aforementioned. I say again: what a fucking joke. Time Need a new mouse? Check this one out. Time AOL have discovered blogs! Run for the hills! Time An interesting article on fair use. A simple yet fun challenge, this one. Wipe hands on pants. Time Quite a handfull, this list: Celebrity Bra Sizes.

Time Two escaped asylum seekers on the run from the authorities in Australia mistakenly hitched a ride from an unmarked police bus. Time Secrets behind Google and how it works. Time Play a fun shell game with President Bush. The prize is a shirt amazing! Time Simon Fuller speaks. Praise the Lord! Pass the body oil! Date Blimey! Time A fine collection of corporate anthems for you to enjoy.

Time A driver who admitted having the highest alcohol reading in Scottish legal history was released on bail to celebrate his birthday. Date Recycling Time The soon-to-be-launched worldcupatwork. Their USP? Time Seriously, what kind of sicko would want one of these in the corner of their living room? Time Yep, there it is in black and white. You can build anything with Flash. Of course, before attempting anything this serious, you might also need these tips on how to be a web designer.

Time My good friend from The Ultimate Insult is about to become a daddy! Be afraid…. So it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top! Time Hoorah!

They cured Bubble Boy. Time Firda has a new look. All that money must be going to her head. Time Purchase a Pet Pennyerm, for a dollar. Time Damn it, this was the most satisfying experience of of my day. See Toast Fiction and the classic web site that inspired it. Call me a pyromaniac if you like, but nothing, and I mean nothing beats watching stuff burn except maybe nuking cockroaches in the microwave. My, what fun. Or the time a segment of copper bomb travelling at the velocity of a bullet missed my head by about an inch.

Take it from someone who knows, this is dangerous stuff and the Gods are not always kind to the dumb, the stupid, and the drunk.

Date Photoshopping Time An year-old man man? Too bad they got a clear shot of him inside the court…. Time Seth Godin has a blog? Take my word for it, violent entertainment is dangerous. Time Liz Hurley had a boy.

OK, preparing for the DNA test in 5, 4, 3, 2…. I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often end up somewhere that I needed to be. The man deserves sainthood for this small miracle alone. Grab a pencil and check if the gravity in your room still works.

Peace of mind is a rare thing these days. Time Meet the rabbit who thinks Gods Practical Joke - D-Bakl cursor is a carrot. Time An excellent piece on street spam. Time Watch Michael Jackson change before your very eyes.

Be amazed! Be astounded! Be very, very afraid. Time Good news everybody! Enron was just the beginning! Time Have a safe trip! Time See some warning signs from around the world and the best of the fake ones from Fark. Time Build a pub in your back yard. Or a genuine, bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail.

Time Michael Barrymore aims for an acting career in the States. Time Penthouse is going broke. Could the advent of online porn be a factor?

Date Photoshopping Time Get that authentic lightsaber effect for still or moving images. Time One man13, McDonalds outlets. Just keeping it down sounds like a challenge to me. Time We can only hope. Date Queen Mum Latest Time This picture of a special gift left by a mourner is doing the rounds.

What, just Google? We have something else to wait for now that the Charlotte Church Countdown is over. Date Overlord of the Evil variety Time The secret to becoming an Evil Overlord and not letting secret agents, angry loners or meddling kids fuck it up for you. The whole thing was written by a chap named O rwell. Date The Occult Time The Occultopedia has more information than you can shake a handful of chicken guts at. Date Open Directory Project Time The number and quality of editors has slipped lately.

Do yourself and the web community a favour by joining up today. Just thought you might like to know. Hell, you can even get an Organ Keeper Card if you want one. That way, your friends and family could come and see you and all of your lovely internal organs in the local art gallery whenever they pleased.

Date Oh, the Humanity! Time Enjoy the worst movies on earth at ohthehumanity. Date O! Date Ouch! Date Orgasms Time The difference between the male and female variety. Hey, I had to slip a Sesame Street reference in somewhere! Time Here I am in Oxford. I just saw a truck fall over on its side. Right in front of me. Here are the answers:. Is the driver OK? Are you OK? Well, yes, it did. What the hell happened? I was a few hundred yards from the office I was headed to when the articulated lorry on the roundabout ahead of me turned into an exit road and tipped over.

The cabin had fallen over with the rest of the vehicle, passenger side down. I looked down, but all I could see was debris. Then I saw a foot twitch. By the time the driver came to, shaken but OK, there was someone right next to him and over a dozen people staring at him through the glass like some kind of exotic fish.

And there was he literally swimming in his possessions. He has a point. Time Just when I thought no venture could be bigger or more impressive than the Internet Archivesomething came along this morning that Blew. The new site nurseryphotos. Incredible, simply incredible. You have to try it for yourself.

Time Some things in life are badThey can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. Time A cool collection of songs from The Simpsons.

I own a couple of Simpsons CDs, so I already know most of these by heart. Homer Simpson. Khlav Kalesh, anyone? Time You may remember the images of Christ looking over your shoulder from Jesus Week. Here are some slightly altered versions from sortakinda. Until the bloke who actually wrote and perfomed the song stands up to be counted, these mostly crappy multiple rip-offs are going to continue. Date Photoshopping Time Art or Arse? My entry is ready, but the email address they give on the site bounces!

Oh well, I suppose I must suffer for my art and wait until tomorrow to send this in:. Mustard Man is an installation piece formed of fibreglass-reinforced plaster, polyester resin, natural materials and American mustard.

The piece is meant to emotively and realistically convey the daily trials of the modern-day proletarian to the upper-class literati. Click here to see a large version. Date Flash Games Time A fun game for your average gun-crazed homophobe — go on, get them before they get you!

Yet another quality link from the notorious breeder ultimateinsult. Time Read about the Pizza Hut manager who robbed the bank next door and still got back to work in time to make the garlic bread for the lunchtime rush. Time The Brazilians have no sense of humour. Or irony. I heard about this on the radio the other day. Kind of childish and reactionary IMO, especially considering how well countries like Australia and Japan took Exactly.

Also stupid in that The Simpsons makes fun of America Every. Too bad some cybersquatter now has it sitting on his dustpile. Date Office Tip Time Beware! The way is clear for a cool title. Now only the movie itself will suck. Surprisingly difficult, but in the end very satisfying. You run around naked in the Garden of Eden trying to shag Eve as you dobut for some reason you also have to deal with a chicken and a gorilla.

Play The Game! OK, enough politics — back to the shagging! Time Death to all gnomes! Time Do not click here if you are in any way squeamish or currently eating your lunch. Time I was asked a day or so ago who I thought was doing it right on the web. I take it back. Somebody has, for the first time, actually succeeded. And hey, I can even take a little bit of the credit! How sad does that make me? Time Are you prone to Road Rage? Time The black hole of music.

BTW, have you seen the ad for this travesty yet? My Dog, will they stop at nothing? Time A collection of blank cassette tapes and thankfully empty air sickness bags. Time The U. Best leave a note for the loved onesthen.

Oh, and one for the milkman. Time Hey, I like Weird Al too — but there is a line, and this guy crossed it years ago. Time A woman was convicted Monday of helping her husband impregnate her teen-age daughter with a syringe. Time Damn it, I know I have a pair of 3D glasses somewhere in my desk. Time This is my weblog. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My weblog is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life.

Without me my weblog is useless. Without my weblog, I am useless. Hartman soundboardor a visit to Gunnery SGT.

Time Wow, that caught me by surprise first time around. Reliance on this can only add to my web-induced dyslexia, but what the hey. Only mildly amusing, primarily due to a lack of sound. Time Get a free sample of dehydrated water. Time Alexander the Great had conquered almost the entire known world by the time he was my age. Also, being amateurs, they more often than not organise these addresses in their Outlook Express Address Book — resulting in many, many viruses being delivered via this notorious security hole, courtesy of this new generation of spammers.

Collectively, they stand to do a lot more damage in the very near future because of this. The wankers. Time A gallery of really bad greeting cards. Time An entire Photoshop comp has bitten the dust. Because the Henson Group stamped their little feet.

Surely these works are protected under fair use? Time Woo! My book must have sold well over the weekend. Just look at that sales rating — ! Time Steve Huey was suffering from an inoperable and fatal brain tumor. Doctors had given him only two months to live, so he decided to end it all by shooting himself in the head. The chances of him not only surviving this, but miraculously shooting out his brain tumor in the process were million to one.

Time Do you think the pop music industry is at its lowest ebb ever? Think again. Hosted at Geocities, of course…. Time Jakob Nielsen is thinking of the children. Time You know those X wireless mini-camera ads that have been popping up everywhere? Gods Practical Joke - D-Bakl signal these cameras send out can be intercepted from more than a quarter-mile away by anyone with the right kit and a little know-how.

Time Uh-oh. A good thing the web has so many dating sites, then. Time A bunch of cops were sitting around celebrating a divorce as you do when it was decided that some hardcore pornography might liven proceedings up. Sorry, that last bit is only funny to me. Time This will keep you busy for a while… The Museum of Hoaxes. I found it interesting that hoaxes are grouped in 50 year brackets, but the period requires an entire category to itself.

Yet another quality link from ultimateinsult. Some of best just, well, end. My personal favourite here is the saga of Father Bear and Baby Bear, but now is not the time to tell it.

Time B3TA goes begging. Time At long last, Michael Jackson is going home. Date Photoshopping Time Yet more attention for us Photoshopping geeks. Could this really be the site of the web design company run by James Major?

The whois lookup checks out and there is an Emma Noble gallery stashed in the back, but surely this has to be a joke. Lupo1 December UTC [ ]. Does she have a name? From the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind.

Respected sir. If You can mail me at email removed. When is the next Jewish Biblical Jubilee Year. I have seen a symbol on several personal-care products from Kingfisher, Palmolive, The Body Shop, etc. Does anyone know what this means? Can anyone tell me where I put my house keys? Try the pockets of the trousers you wore last time you went out.

Also check your laundry basket in case they fell out of said pockets when you put your trousers there. Does your cat have a favorite hiding place? They're in the last place you'd think of looking for them. So all you have to do is identify where the last place you would look is, and look there. Perfectly simple. Remember, the best search engine known Tinklepotty - Split (Cassette) man is a woman.

Ask your mom or your wife whichever is applicable. I am in need of finding the phone numbers for each significant hospital in Donetsk, Ukraine. However, I don't speak Russian.

I've been attempting to use babelfish. I'm running out of options on how to proceed. I thought I might place a question on this at the reference desk of the Russian wikipedia, but I don't have the knowledge to know what page that is.

So I need answers to:. Any help would be greatly appreciated. A close friend of our family is reported to be in a hospital in Donetsk, but we lack any other information at this point. We are trying to find out what has happened to her. First, the language of Ukraine is Ukrainian.

People there might get upset if you think they speak Russian although I guess many of them would speak that as well. As to getting the number, one possibility would be to just call your long-distance telephone operator and ask if you can get directory assistance for Donetsk, Ukraine, then explain what you want.

You might end up reaching a human who lives there and knows the major hospitals, and speaks English. If you can get through to any one hospital in the city, perhaps the person you speak to there will be able to give you the phone numbers of some others. As to the www. However, the English version of the site may not have everything there is on it. I don't see a list of hospitals on their English pages and I don't speak Ukrainian eitherbut they do have numbers for the Ministry of Public Health, so maybe someone there could help you.

I may as well copy them out:. I'm guessing they don't work on weekends, so if you're trying that route, you'll want to call before Friday afternoon eastern European time.

How do I format a sentific research paper? Is Wikipedia a publicly traded company? If so, what is It's symbol? What is the recommended number of steps per day to stay fit. When a U. Submarine wants to go to feet. IS that feet from the bottom, middle, or top of the sub? If my Tom Clancy has taught me anything, I would assume that it was from the bottom for a dive and top for an ascent.

It would measure absolute difference. Context would be helpful, but in a list of credits on, say, a recording it's probably equivalent to "singing". Can you tell me the Bibliography on taste buds? In the early-mid s, there was a minor crisis when an Asian politician? He eventually turned up and said something about needing some time off from stressful duties, but the only way he could achieve this would be to disappear for a while. This happened while he was staying in Sydney.

Who was the politician, what country was he from, when did this happen, and what happened afterwards? I have recently helped an author publish his book 'Z' by Jonar Nader and because of the story we decided to make the page numbers run in reverse ie. I would like to know if this is a 'world first'. If the question cannot be answered here could someone please put me in the right direction to find the answer. Is there any way to measure the strength or force of a person's punch?

It would be interesting to know how certain boxers match up in this area, and finding out the current world record. I do not totaly see how I find all the different thing on Wikipedia. Like mail system. I think that is very irritating. How to make my own profile?

Can someone give me a description of the colours of the following: Battle Flag. Mgm talk reformatted above question. What is the greatest question ever asked in wp:rd?

How did the name Pink Floyd come about? Who thought of it? What does it mean? How do I find web sites that search for a specific book from mutiple internet book stores? I have smoked for 30 years and have tried to quit many times with no success. Twelve or thirteen years ago my hands started falling asleep. A Neurologist had a test ran that I was told was very painfull.

A needle was put into the wrist to measure to oxygen content. I felt no pain nor the needle. I was told at that time that I had a very rare disease that was caused by smoking and was irreversable and would only progress. Four years ago my feet now go partially numb and my legs are in constant pain. What is this disease called? Who do I go to to have this pain stopped?

All over the counter pain relievers do nothing for the pain. The second one sounds more like your description. I'm not a doctor, though. Name four fish or seafood low in albumin and four high in albumin.

Kevin Mitchel - Age 12; the youngest prisoner in California history Incarcerated He was listed as the youngest inmate in San Quentin at the age of I can not find any other information about him. Why he was there at such a young age or anything. This may sound kinda lame but I would really like to know what a 12 year old could do to be put in one of Californias roughest prisons.

Could anyone asist me? There's an interesting article from Human Rights Watch on the subject " Life without Parole for Child Offenders in the United States " which might answer your question. Personally, I was quite surprised at some of the things happening in the US legal systems mentioned in that report, particularly how easy it is to be charged with murder without actually killing anyone e. If so what is his significance?

Can anyone identify the music in the Nissan Murano Commercial? The one with the birds animation. I am trying to learn how to play first person shooter games "properly". May I request a spontaneous list of simple tips beginners like me can use? Thanks very much!! Where can I download the book for free????? Hello, I am trying to find the name for the piece of wood that a gavel hits.

Like that in a court room. I have asked a number of people but they are unable to give me an answer. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. It's a block or a sound block. I came across this a while back, and I was wondering what Pinochet was trying to portray here. It was certainly different other photos, and well, the pose is Was this a candid shot, or purposely posed this way?

I mean, for someone who would rely on propaganda, assuming such a pose could be counter-productive to assuming power. I need to know how many miles of interstate there are in Indianapolis total? What type of construction is the basic home built witrh in Italy-- Digital Video recorder, a. Please help me understand why companies, economically speaking, should focus on inferior, normal, and complementary goods.

Thank you for your help. When we fill a water bottle or any small and a tall container when the water level rises,the sound of the falling water changes. Can someone tell me why? Dont you think it would be better if we had a place to chat with one of the guys or all of them who answer the questions on this page?? I'm getting a hamster on Tuesday, but I can't think of any names. I'll probably get a male Syrian. Any help would be appreciated. Actually, I called him Finnegan. It depends on what you mean by godrealand is.

This is not a smartass answer. The answer will change according to your definition of each of those slippery words. If the answer were as simple as "no" you would not continue to get so many differences of opinion over the last several thousand years. How does the atheist-existentialist argument disprove the possibility of a perfect sentient being? By assuming a set of mutually incompatible meanings for the components of the phrase "perfect sentient being". Recently, while cleaning out my father's house attic, I ran across a menu for "Don the Beachcomber" restaurant located at East Walton Place, Chicago, Illinois copyright It is in good condition and perfectly readable.

Is there any organization or person interested in this menu? I would rather it find a good home than add to our ever increasing landfills.

Does it have any value? Why is there a preference to use a particular direction of smiley faces on the internet? For example, I see :- instead of -: more often.

Why is that? Also, is there software to translate these into meaningful sounds for visually impaired who use the internet?

Greetings Wikipedia. Hi my name is Mark Himes. I was recently researching about lightsaber information and now I have questions for you. These questions came upon me after reading your page. Hopefully you can answer these questions.

I came up with these questions from my curiosity on this subject and the reading that you provided me with. Chamomile flowers are also popular in herbal teas.

Related to ragweed and goldenrod, chamomile can produce severe reactions in people sensitive to plants of that family. The trick in both cases is to obtain extracts of both products and use them in concentrated enough additive form to create the desired effect.

Meanwhile, from the other end, Doctor Christopher Garwood Doyle has a prescription that could really get a mark moving.

Syrup of ipecac is a common purgative, easily available. When the mark goes to the bathroom or is otherwise out of the area, mix one tablespoon of syrup in ipecac in with the drink. After that, bombs away! The mark will begin violent projectile vomiting, which really messes up the nearby environment and anyone else who happens to be the way.

They threw the book at us because we were supposed to be mature medical students. So we figured he who tattles about booze shall also toss his booze. He says the secret is to select a carrier drink that will hide the taste and consistency of the syrup.

Another good remedy for a hotshot is cascara sagrada, made from the dried root of a thorny shrub found on the American West Coast. It produces violent diarrhea. The mark was with his girlfriend and her parents in their family car. He just started letting go with loud, wet, explosive bursts. They took him to a hospital,but by then the additive was through his system and the storm had subsided.

That surely is super powerful stuff. This was always with other girls, of course—his regular girlfriend knew nothing about all of this. He thought he was macho stuff and gave her hell for it.

This will cause him to literally shit his pants and drip at the heels. As a final note, Kascaba says not to use this powerful additive with older folks, because it weaken them to the point of very serious medical complications such as dehydration which may kill them.

Have some respect for the elderly, think of your grandmother! She knew that Operation Substitute was a bald success when she saw her mark in a local store several weeks later, wearing a large scarf on his head. Vinegar makes a great substitute for nose drops or in nasal-spray devices. One especially nasty person also suggested it for use in eye drops. Airlines Arrange to have a friend meet you at the terminal gate when you deplane.

Before your friend leaves the airport with your luggage, be sure to get your claim checks back. Then, you saunter over to the baggage area, spend half an hour waiting for your bags. Very few flights ever have a clerk actually check the baggage and collect claim checks.

Make a polite, but firm scene and demand satisfaction. Normally, the airline people will have you fill out a form and they will attempt to find your luggage. Bug them some…write them letters. Soon, you should get a good settlement from the airline. Leaving the airlines and aiming for the individual mark, you can do a lot of personal damage. For instance, if you find your mark is going to use airline travel, you could call and cancel the reservations.

You could also slip some drugs into his pocket at the same time. Read a book on pick pocketing to note the technique for doing this. Leave accurate-looking, but totally bogus hijack scenario plans, bomb diagrams, or orders of battle for terrorist attacks in airport bars and restrooms. This fires up both the rent-a-cops and the real security people.

The security delays and resultant hassles with passengers create unhappy people who are angry at airports and airlines. Naturally, the blame for these plans must focus on your mark. Leaving the airlines and aiming for individual mark, you can do a lot of personal damage. For instance, if you find that your mark is going to use airline travel and there are only a few travel agents in town, you could call until you find the correct one and cancel the reservations. Read a book on pick-pocketing to note the technique for doing this.

Bill Cutcheon sometimes poses as a Moonie, Hare Krishna devotee, or other cultist and goes to airports. His goal is to act like a completely obnoxious fool. He really hams it up, usually getting tossed out after totally grossing out the passengers. Another Cutcheon stunt is to leave accurate-looking but totally bogus hijack scenario plans, bomb diagrams, or orders for terrorists attacks in airport bars and restrooms.

I got back at a motorcycle gang by doing this once, after they had sideswiped my truck and refused to pay damages. Egan and his friends use those little metal clickers shaped like frogs to ward of religious solicitors. I knew a chap who became annoyed at a Krishna who followed him out of the Indianapolis airport, verbally abusing him for not making a contribution.

After the few necessary seconds of attack, he calmly replaced himself, zipped up, and walked away. A bemused security cop nearby tried to hide his laughter.

Animals If your mark is an oily cuss with a credibility problem you should easily pull off this stunt. It involves a cop, reporters, SPCA folks and some farm animals. Explain that you have no morals against animal fighting but you lost big money there last time and think the fights are fixed. Next call your mark and report to him that some people are holding dog or cock fights on his property. Call the reporters and SPCA and tell them all about the fight. Mention that your mark and the cops have a payoff relationship.

Give everyone the same general arrival time, never be too specific. Hopefully, all will sort of show up at the same time. You might manipulate things so the press and animal lovers show up first. If you want a stronger story, find a dead dog on the road or something and plant it near by and tell the reporters and SPCA where to find the evidence.

It will be fun to hear your mark and the cops talk about everything to the reporters. Dead animals are very useful. Wait until your mark goes on a trip and will be leaving his car or house empty for several days. Get into the car or house and stuff very large and very dead animals everywhere. Your mark will probably have to sell his car and fumigate his house when he returns.

If you are bothered by big dogs chasing you just take a good quality plastic water pistol and fill it with freshly squeezed lemon juice. Apartments Your mark lives in an apartment? Of course, this same stunt would work on a house, but an apartment lockout disturbance causes more of a public scene. Quietly fix a hasp and keeper on the door and frame using wooden screws. Then slap a padlock on the new fixture. It creates a great deal of frustration if that door is the only way out of the apartment.

This works well in ritzy apartments where the neighbors are snobs. How do you get by the security people? One way is to pose as a delivery person, a service person, a building inspector, or someone on a work crew.

You can also hire an accomplice in the building, or you can bribe the door guard. Suppose you are the victim of a nasty landlord who evicts you for no good reason. Make this extracurricular subletting your going-away surprise. Another person I know went to the local animal shelter on several different days and got a total of fifteen cats for twenty-five dollars. He bought a bunch of cat food and a bushel basket of fish, and filled his bathtub with water for them.

He then nailed every window and door shut from the inside before crawling out the tiny casement window in the basement. He had previously nailed the basement door shut behind him. Obviously, he had moved his things out several days previously. My God, what a mistake that man made. To say that that cat house was an uninhabitable mess is an understatement.

This upset the old biddy who owned the building, and being a staunch, Godfearing charter member of the DAR, she canceled his lease and ordered him to leave the building. The seventh-floor window faced a busy business street, and the sign was quite visible to many hundreds of people. The landlady saw both signs and removed them. Two days later, she got a letter from Tim, with a picture enclosed showing her building with the signs easily visible.

He asked her please to desist. At A. Shaken, she swore her innocence. Ten minutes after hanging up, he called back, sounding furious because Tim had just called him about the latest sign. Flabbergasted, the old lady swore she would remove it and loudly proclaim her innocence. She was almost in tears because of his threats to sue. She begged to just talk to Tim, to tell him none of this was her doing. The attorney told her that he had advised his client to have no further discussions with her.

That evening, a new sign went up. The attorney called her five minutes after she go back to her own apartment. The was no such clause. I found out she had done this same thing to two other guys a year before and some guys before that. That bugged me. In his best tones, the attorney explained that enough was enough and that on behalf of his client, Mr.

Carroll, he would be filing an action. The woman was distraught. He told her to have her attorney present for a meeting at three the following afternoon. He asked her who attorney was and said the meeting should be in his office. Tim and his attorney postponed this meeting several times, then told the woman that since she had stopped putting up the signs, they would hold the suit in limbo for the time.

Reportedly, she monitored the halls and windows of that building regularly for five months. But more importantly, she also left her tenants to their own moral lives. Assassination Suppose you have a mark whose ill temper has created problems for you. Or perhaps this mark is simply an obnoxious nut whose obsessions have cost you personally.

An apolitical and highly dedicated professional, he was concerned only with healthcare for the kids in the community. A hyper, rightwing zealot jumped on the issue and scared the town council with his insane babble. Sighing, he gave up his fight and put his time back into his practice. The kids never got their fluoride treatment, and as a result he had a lot of business.

In the hypocritical piety following the assassinations of the sixties, physical security was supposedly tightened to protect the chief executive chosen by the power brokers who now control the United States. A former law-enforcement official with a probable intelligence background offered an astounding dirty trick related to this topic. Often, these people are jailed, kept under protective custody, or placed under twenty-four-hour surveillance by authorities when political targets are in the area.

Bishop says this will also work with state officials, bringing a visit from state police or some other law enforcement official. Wait outside the showroom until a prospective customer starts talking to a salesperson about the same type of car you got.

Walk right up to the customer and tell him you woeful story. Sincere good faith is the thing here, because the salesman is going to blow his about the second time you pull your act.

You had anticipated this earlier and alerted someone at the local newspaper or television station—probably the action-line reporters. A regional TV station may show up — if you promise a confrontation with the law. So when the manager calls the police, you call your TV reporter — fun and games for the P.

Tell your story there and then. Offer to help them avoid your mistake. But stay on public property. And keep after the action-line reporters. Look at new cars; wander around. Few salespeople pay much attention to an obvious gawker. As soon as someone else or a telephone distracts the salesperson, you can do things to the automobile right there in the showroom. A bottle opener is hard on the finish.

See the file on additives for things you could quickly put into the fuel tank. If you could smuggle some in with you, stuff roadkill under a car seat or in the glove compartment. Or toss a condom preferably used on thefront seat. If you can manage to slip undetected into the service area along with your bag of sabotage goodies, such as glue, wire cutters, paint, potatoes, M80s, etc.

Work quietly and quickly. Banks It could be time to make your bankroll. According to Townsend Alexander, our financial intelligence agent, you can make good money buying some very cheap foreign coins that are the same size as quarters. Get a paper coin wrapper. Wrap a few real quarters on the ends but fill the rest of the roll with the cheapie import coins. Wrap the roll and with felt-tip pen write some phony account number on it to add to authenticity.

Take the roll of coins into the targeted bank. If you dress like a business person and go at a busy time, especially with the account number written on each roll, and the rolls in a bank sack or your briefcase, the teller will probably give you ten dollars per roll without checking. Suppose you have a gripe with the bank. Offer to give away free albums or Walkman radios.

Modern banks now have cash machines where you insert your plastic money card and the machine gives you the money. Take some tough, hard cheese and cut it the same size and shape asyour plastic card. One banker told me it took a service person nine hours to clean the machine and get it operating again when someone pulled this stunt in Baltimore.

Rent a safe-deposit box under another name. Pay cash for a three-month rental. Carry them wrapped in plastic in your briefcase. Go directly to your safe deposit box. Close it, lock it, and store it. Then carry the fish wrappers, briefcase, and yourself out of the bank. In a few days your deposit will gain their interest.

You finally pass each other in good dodgem-car fashion. Wonderful stuff, adrenaline. Instantly, the bike stops going forward while the rider continues onward until gravity takes over. Until then I will stick to the old standards that have worked for me so far. But maybe if those young riders learn some manners early and stay the hell off pedestrian walkways, they might grow up to be decent people. Our private library consultant, Roberta Russell, has a suggestion with an air of financial finality behind it.

Buy two or three dozen used hardcover books. Your next step is to paste on the bookplates and distribute these books — at the beach, on park benches, in a bus or subway, or in a bar or restaurant. If your mark has a fine library, you might consider introducing it to silverfish. They love good books; in fact they will devour them. If you feel this nasty, you probably already know where to get silverfish and their eggs. This one bothers me, though, since I love good books. Why not give your mark the image of a philanthropic person?

Buy a bunch of really skuzzy porno paperbacks, especially the colorfully illustrated ones from Denmark — the more grossly hardcore, the better. Put some in the children section, and others in the religion books.

Campuses Not everyone is hibernating on college campuses. At an eastern university, a number of students got upset with the rent gouging of a massive corporation acting as an absentee landlord for private off-campus dormitories. After getting nowhere appealing to an untesticled school administration, and after being ignored by a housing inspector and a city council belonging to the same social class and clubs as the corporate landlords, the students held a pizza party.

The unusual part was that the pizza party was held in the clothes dryers of the dormitory laundry rooms. Epilogue: The corporate landlord and his student tenants settled their problems shortly after the party, totally to the satisfaction of the young protestors. Professor James Shannon claims that college students of the past had heinous imaginations. Today, of course, many students are content merely to move around enough to prevent roots from forming on their contact surfaces with the ground.

When the academic leans forward on the structure ever so slightly, it will come crashing forward. With any luck the pedagogue will land on top of it. The professor was in the habit of arriving quite early for AM class, early enough so that the hasty-tempered birds would just be awakening. When he opened the closet door they woke up and became badly aggressive really fast. Eyewitness reports left no doubt whose feathers were ruffled most.

This will be truly appreciated only by those privy to the pettiness of academia: Other colleagues of this same professor sometimes send truly pedantic, nasty, personal, and vindictive memoranda to various other faculty members, deans, etc.

As for the mark, the dumb schmuck had no idea why so many people disliked him. But please take his colleagues word for it — he deserves every bit of it. Carbide Having been brought up around hunters and miners, I learned all about carbide lamps and carbide fishing early. Let me explain some things you might find useful. When calcium carbide is exposed to air and water it produces a gas that will kill small animals.

Farmers often pour it down gopher, rat, or groundhog holes, then dump in some water and put a rock over the hole.

The animal is gassed to death. A lot of poor people used to fish with carbide with the same efficiency with which legions of GIs fished with hand grenades.

Simply toss a pound or two of carbide into a can and seal it, but be sure to punch a few holes in the lid. Toss it into a pond. Water and carbide can produce an explosion. Some of the nastier kids used to place amounts of carbide into the toilets at our school. The idea was to place the carbide bomb in the toilet, leave a lighted cigarette on the seat, and run like hell. The carbide would combine with the water to produce a huge cloud of noxious gas, which would explode when it hit the lighted cigarette the perpetrators left behind.

This little homemade bomb did more damage than an M He always went to the john after fourth period to sneak a smoke. So two of us went in right after him and laid a carbide bomb in the water in the next stall. We were about a hundred feet down the hall when the damn thing went off. I was able to learn, thoughthat the bully had his legs burned and cut by flying porcelain, bit his tongue badly, was knocked violently off the throne, bruising his ribs against the steel wall of the stall, and was deafened for nearly twenty-four hours, all by the force of this carbide explosion.

Are there more adult uses for carbide? Some sixties semi-terrorists used to dump a pound or so into the toilets of corporate offices and government buildings, flush the mess into the system, and walk away briskly. Enough of the stuff could get very dangerous, considering the possible backup of gases. A combination of water and carbide has been fed into the ventilating systems of various corporate and government buildings, also by semi-terrorists who wish to harass the resident bureaucrats.

Sooner or not much later, the wheel will simply roll off the car. Willy Seamore, a top mechanic, suggests you extend the cable, then place the lead weight on the extended portion, which effectively blocks it from returning. From choking up to locking up is hardly a quantum experience. The new miracle glues are impregnable when squirted into car door keyholes.

Nothing short of a locksmith can repair this low-risk attack. Now is the time to squirt glue into the lock. The job is more permanent and more costly to repair.

If you tire of fooling with the locks, you can look elsewhere. The car moves back and the wheels roll over the nails, puncturing the tires. You could tear them a bit.

More than a hint of perfume or flavored douche will always hype suspicion. You can escalate this stunt somewhat if you buy male underwear —get the sexy style in white—and place some lipstick smears around the fly area. You can help the campaign along by having a very trusted lady friend call and ask nervously for the mark.

The younger she sounds, the better. Have her call several times. If the mark is a woman, a pack of condoms carelessly hidden in the car is always a sure-grow plant. Several daint handkerchiefs of the type favored by milady and heavily impregnated with semen can also be stuffed in the car. As with the male, a series of appropriately timed telephone calls from a nervous male will add to the marital festivities between mark and spouse. In less carnal surroundings, if you can get to the distributor cap, remove it and use graphite from a pencil to contact the rotor brushes.

The charge will run along the graphite, causing the engine to misfire. This could cause the mark to dash into his local car butcher and get charged an outrageous price for an unnecessary tune-up.

A quick way to disable a car battery is to slip a couple of Alka-Seltzer tablets or a teaspoonful of baking soda into each battery compartment. According to Lee H. Santana, a real straight shooter in the dirty-tricks department, the pin pricks cause a hellishly rumpety noise when the car is driven. It would sink to the bottom of the tank and not much would be introduced into the engine, he explained.

The idea is to get the additive to the bearing surfaces, where the coarse little buggers can kick and scratch up a mechanical breakdown. Silicone carbide, emery powder, and fine metal filings will work. The alcohol will gather up all the water in the fuel trap, and when this mixture goes through the fuel line it will cause the vehicle to snort, stammer, and act as if it has big carb troubles. By the time the driver gets the vehicle to a mechanic, the problem has usually Gods Practical Joke - D-Bakl out the exhaust pipe.

Done enough times, this one can redline the frustration and credibility levels of both the driver and the mechanic. Styrene, a colorless, oily liquid, is an organic compound that is one of the two chemicals mixed together to make hardened fiberglass. Boat-supply stores and marinas have styrene available for patching fiberglass boats. It is also used in body shops and upholsteryrepair places. If you find that your mark is going alone to a movie you have an hour or so to have some fun with his automobile.

After you start it, drive to some very nice homes with pretty lawns. But stay fairly near the theater, so you can get back there in a hurry. Do donuts, dig out, and otherwise use the car to make a shambles of lawns, shrubbery, flower beds, etc. Run over lawn furniture, hit mailboxes, and try to frighten some old people by coming really close to them with the car.

This is a real hit-and-run mission. This is not sometthing you want to experience. You might also want to read Rayleigh scattering. I remember being told that different coloured ski goggles were better for different conditions; one colour for bright sun, one for falling snow, one for fog. I don't remember which colours or why. A small note: I've been wearing blue-tinted glasses full time for about two and a half years.

I've yet to notice any ill effects. I wear them when it is snowing as well. Trngl12 December UTC [ ]. Shahinarashid8 December UTC [ ]. Can you tell RBD that I said "!

I ran my 40 gb 4th generation ipod through the washing machine, it dried out and will work when plugged in to power, but only when plugged in. I think the battery is shot. Can you recomend the best and preferably cheapest way of getting this taken care of?

It is still under warranty, but I think that this wouldn't be covered by it. Also, are there longer lasting batteries out there? Posted by As a point of interest, a Game Boy Advance cartridge of ours was lost for months before we found it in a trouser pocket. That thing probably went though a thousand washes, and the thing worked at still does, perfectly it's Yoshi's Island by the way. However, I once sat on another cartridge just after swimming in the sea and still wet.

It was in a pool of salt water under my bottom. The internal clock broke, although the game was Pokemon Ruby so that may not have been to do with that.

How does the following link work: [14]. I have already gathered a few ideas: it changes the symbols each time so it must make you pick the same one every time. Does anyone know a proper solution???

How long would it take to go from Tintagel to Edinburgh on a horse if you could only take roman roads or oldr roads? Partial answer 4. This is based on a horse running at a constant top speed of 40 mph over a straight line distance of about miles. This is a rotten answer as the horse would not be able to keep the speed up for that length of time, nor is the distance a flat straight line. If you're doing this for a story I'm assuming that's what it is, since you asked about Roman and earlier roadsthen try this.

You'll need to measure the Roman roads - if your map has no scale, just trace it out onto one that has a scale and add it up. Then do you know what kind of horse they would have used? There is this guy who sells classic vintage restored toasters on the Upper West Side. I can't remember the name of him, his store or website! My grandmother's birth Tinklepotty - Split (Cassette) states that she was born November 5, in Valley,Mississippi. That said, I have searched the internet and ask m any people but I cannot find Valley,Mississippi.

Can anyone help guide me in the right direction? Ray Smith rsmith aol. Just a thought but is it possible the birth certificate should read Mississippi Valley and just got written up backwards? It's possible if she was born outside of a community. The other thought is, could the community name have got dropped off?

As an example, Bigbee Valley is in Mississippi. If the certificate is the original then a mistake is less likely but if it's a later reproduction an error could have crept in. I would try and find old maps of Mississippi and see if there is anything on them. What is the origin of the Slovak surname "Bensko" or "Bencko"?

Reader Tom has sent the following question to the Wikimedia Help Desk. I am looking for a source to authenticate the markings on the rifle. Can you help in this. Capitalistroadster9 December UTC [ ]. Try [15] and [16]. The second one may be able to help with the markings. I have a tool that I need help identifying. It look like a long, thin pair of tongs. The whole thing is about 16 inches long. On this end, both sides of the "tongs" are the same.

On the other end, the sides are different. On one side, the end is round with a nearly elliptical hole about 2. The other side does not have a hole. This end aligns with the middle of the hole on the other side. I have looked on the internet and could not find anything. Any help is appreciated. Yeah, I've used this tool several times. It is used to expand the leather of tight fitting shoes in specific spots.

You press the inner part of the shoe outwards to releive the leather. I do not know the proper name of the tool, but we at work called it the boot stretcher.

I can not say for sure, but that is what it looks like to me. Pert near identical. Someone I work with mentioned that people in Louisiana used to be taxed on how much road frontage their house had. The wider the house, the more the tax. Therefore people built houses that were extremely long where all the rooms were basically in a row along one long hallway. Has anyone ever heard of this? Is there any truth to this? I meant U. Mwalcoff11 December UTC [ ]. Can anyone identify any of the flowers in this photo?

The one at the front looks like a Tiger Lilly. The white ones look like roses and the rest look like unopened tiger lillies. The lilies are specifically "Stargazer lilies" and they have a wonderful fragrance that is very strong! The unopened ones are stargazer lilies waiting to happen. I think "tiger lilies" is usually used for orange colored lilies; I'm not sure how they are botanically related, but I think tiger lilies are a wild type species, while stargazers are hybrids.

I have a 5 yr old male dog, and I'm about to buy a new puppy. Should I get a male or a female? If both are desexed, they won't attempt t mate, will they? Are two male dogs more aggressive than one? Is there, or was there ever, a news agency called Associated Foreign Press? If so, who are they? If not, where did the name come from? I have seen it cited as a news source several times on the web, and had previously assumed that it was what AFP stood for, but now find out that it isn't.

A Google search shows hits - seemingly too few for a real agency, but too many to be a mistake. Surely zdnet, NASA and 'Liberia's Most Trusted News Source' aren't all citing a ficticious agency, but a real agency that doesn't have a web site or a Wikipedia article is quite an enigma. I'm mystified. Does anyone have any ideas? Could that be what you're thinking of? Why is Mozilla Firefox not printing Kannada text properly. Its prints square box is showing the text properly. How can I solve this problem?

Thanks in advance, daya. Can anyone refer such a websites for each above mentioned countries where i can find every thing about that country i. I want sepapate website for each above mentioned countries. Please may anyone help me in search of it. Shahinarashid9 December UTC [ ]. What Type of thing do witches do? This is for a report at school.

This topic is one where your answers may need to be Politically Correct, with respect to the belief system or ignorance of school administrators for you to get a passing grade. I'd like to know the names of officers and key management at Atlantic Records JPG what kind? Maoririder9 December UTC [ ]. If anything? What are the contemporary forms of business cooperation? Where are these phrases from? I think "Oh the humanity" uttered by an on-the-spot radio newscaster distraught at the burning of the dirigible Hindenburg in NJ in the late s.

It has been turned into a joke in recent years by being applied to trivia, but few people even know where the phrase came from. I'm looking for a cooking utensil that was popular in Miami during the s and s called the "disco volador" or "flying saucer". It consisted of two slightly concave disks, attached to each other at the edges by a hinge, and having two handles projecting from the opposite edges.

Bread would be placed in the concave dishes, and then covered with various fillings. Then, the handles would be brought together, clamping the dishes together, and the whole thing would be heated over a stove until cooked various items sticking out would be trimmed off. When the handles were opened, a completely enclosed delicious grilled sandwich would be inside.

They do not seem to be available anywhere that I can find locally, nor can I find information about them they are not panino. Please tell me if there is anywhere I can buy this cooking ware. Many thanks. What should I get my Uncle? The only thing I know about him is that he likes history and trains. If he has a computer then I would suggest [ Microsoft Train Simulator. I have a copy and can recommend it.

Many thanks and a happy Chrismahaunakwanzakastice to the both of you! How about a calendar with pictures of old trains? Gift certificate to a local hobby store? There are various history magazines I'm using Adobe Premier Pro,btw. Reader Harrish wrote to the Wikipedia Help mail list asking for good places to visit in Russia on his trip there. I suggested Moscow and Leningrad as well as seeing his travel agent and reading a guidebook.

I also referred him to the Russia portal. Does anyone have any suggestions of places to visit while in Russia? Thanks for any help you can give. Capitalistroadster10 December UTC [ ]. Why does Washington D. C use NW as in front of the zip code?

Well, an NW is always after the adress oops! The "NW" is part of the address.

Just Your Fool - Cyndi Lauper - Memphis Blues (CD, Album), You Scare Me - Dodsons Dogs - Rain Stops Play (Vinyl, LP, Album), Deep Throat - Various - Summer In The Fridge Mix (CD), Elio Roca - Una Rosa, Una Espina (Cassette, Album), Ross Hammond (2) - Acoustic Sanctuary Project: Tahoe Forest (File), Poco Allegro, U.K ~ Cops - Outo - I Wanna Drink Your Cola! (VHS), Desligacao - Lazzo (2) - Filho Da Terra (Vinyl, LP), Glad All Over - The Rezillos - Cant Stand The Rezillos (Vinyl, LP, Album), Mamselle - Frank Sinatra - Young At Heart (CD), Aint Got No Gas In It, Variazione IV: Andante Grazioso - Elgar*, Tchaikovsky*, Mischa Maisky, Philharmonia Orchestra, Giuse, Everybody Get Down (Get Down Club Mix) - Crazy Moon* - Everybody Get Down (CD), To The Lions, Waxl

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9 Responses to Gods Practical Joke - D-Bakl, Tinklepotty - Split (Cassette)

  1. Tygogore says:

    May 30,  · Split by D-Bakl + Tinklepotty, released 1. Introduction 2. I'm Overheating 3. Billions 4. Burnt Esophagus 5. Liquid Courage 6. Code Legit 7. God's Practical Joke 8. Outro 9. Collapse & Decay Process of Bastardization Stillness Android Unnatural Roadkill Eyes Resilient Motor Recorded at Upper Cervical Health Centers of America (Marin, CA).

  2. Zuzuru says:

    Absolutely hillarious God one-liners! The largest collection of God one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 God one liners. Page %().

  3. Samuhn says:

    5. Tell the wrong joke to the wrong audience; they’ll feel worse than you do. 6. Above all else, don’t be yourself because you know you’re not humorous, even if you are funny. If, on the other hand, you would like to have some measure of success in joke telling—ignore these suggestions. —Bob Phillips 6 cleanjokes_brandez.biz 11/20/12

  4. JoJogis says:

    Explore releases from The Pocket Gods at Discogs. Shop for Vinyl, CDs and more from The Pocket Gods at the Discogs Marketplace.

  5. Akijinn says:

    He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. "Yeah, I can and the sand too loose. In a split second, Jack realized that.

  6. Mozilkree says:

    Where is God?! A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a rabbi in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

  7. Bakinos says:

    Apr 30,  · Founded April A.D. Send your tapes to our headquarters. Cassette Gods c/o Deep Thoughts JP B South St. Jamaica Plain, MA all submissions are considered. WE ONLY REVIEW PHYSICAL MEDIA NO PROMO EMAILS PLEASE they will not be read or responded to.

  8. Mazukasa says:

    Jun 22,  · 19 dad jokes about classical music that are so bad they’re actually hilarious. 22 June , | Updated: 22 June ,

  9. Tor says:

    Oct 31,  · Until then, “The Construct” remains forever in my safe possession, away from those who would use its secrets for destruction. “D/A/D,” I say, every day, for as long as it takes. D/A/D. Hausu Mountain. --Ryan. Posted by Cassette Gods at October 23,

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