Category Archives: Folk

This Is Not Your Job (Da Lata House Instrumental Mix)

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Archived from the original on May 31, Retrieved December 29, The group popularized explicit lyrics in hip hop to detail the violence of street life. During the early s, Dre was credited as a key figure in the crafting and popularization of West Coast G-funka subgenre of hip hop characterized by a synthesizer foundation and slow, heavy beats. Dre's solo debut studio album The Chronicreleased under Death Row Records, made him one of the best-selling American music artists of That year, he produced Death Row labelmate Snoop Doggy Dogg 's debut album Doggystyle and mentored producers such as his stepbrother Warren G leading to the multi-platinum debut Regulate InDr.

He produced a compilation album, Dr. Dre Presents the Aftermathinand released a solo album, The Chronicin During the s, Dre focused on producing other artists, occasionally contributing vocals. He signed Eminem in and 50 Cent inand co-produced their albums. He has produced albums for and overseen the careers of many other rappers, including 2Pacthe D. Accusations of Dre's violence against women have been widely publicized.

A civil suit was settled out of court. InMichel'lethe mother of one of his children, accused him of domestic violence during their time together as a couple. Lisa Johnson, the mother of three of Dr. Dre's children, stated that he beat her many times, including while she was pregnant.

She was granted a restraining order against him. Former labelmate Tairrie B claimed that Dre assaulted her at a party inin response to her track "Ruthless Bitch". His parents married inseparated inand divorced in He attempted to enroll in an apprenticeship program at Northrop Aviation Companybut poor grades at school made him ineligible.

Thereafter, he focused on his social life and entertainment for the remainder of his high school years. Dre's frequent absences from school jeopardized his position as a diver on his school's swim team. After high school, he attended Chester Adult School in Compton following his mother's demands for him to get a job or continue his education. After brief attendance at a radio broadcasting school, he relocated to the residence of his father and residence of his grandparents before returning to his mother's house.

He subsequently became a DJ in the club, initially under the name "Dr. J", based on the nickname of Julius Ervinghis favorite basketball player. Dre, a mix of previous alias Dr.

J and his first name, referring to himself as the "Master of Mixology". Eve After Dark had a back room with a small four-track studio. In this studio, Dre and Yella recorded several demos. In their first recording session, they recorded a song entitled "Surgery", with the lyrics "calling Dr. Dre to surgery" serving as the chorus to the song.

Dre's earliest recordings were released in on a compilation titled Concrete Roots. Stephen Thomas Erlewine of the website AllMusic described the compiled music, released "several years before Dre developed a distinctive style", as "surprisingly generic and unengaging" and "for dedicated fans only".

Dre on the turntable. The record would become the group's first hit, selling 50, copies within the Compton area. A and fellow West Coast rapper Ice-T are widely credited as seminal artists of the gangsta rap genre, a profanity-heavy subgenre of hip hop, replete with gritty depictions of urban crime and gang lifestyle. Not feeling constricted to racially charged political issues pioneered by rap artists such as Public Enemy or Boogie Down ProductionsN.

A favored themes and uncompromising lyrics, offering stark descriptions of violent, inner-city streets. Propelled by the hit " Fuck tha Police ", the group's first full album Straight Outta Compton became a major success, despite an almost complete absence of radio airplay or major concert tours.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation sent Ruthless Records a warning letter in response to the song's content. After Ice Cube left N. A in over financial disputes, Dr. Dre produced and performed for much of the group's second album Efil4zaggin. After a dispute with Eazy-E, Dre left the group at the peak of its popularity in under the advice of friend, and N. A lyricist, the D. Knight, a notorious strongman and intimidator, was able to have Eazy-E release Young from his contract and, using Dr.

Dre as his flagship artist, founded Death Row Records. InYoung released his first single, the title track to the film Deep Covera collaboration with rapper Snoop Doggwhom he met through Warren G.

Young ushered in a new style of rap, both in terms of musical style and lyrical content, including introducing a number of artists to the industry including Snoop Dogg, KuruptDaz DillingerRBXthe Lady of RageNate Dogg and Jewell. On the strength of singles such as " Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang ", " Let Me Ride ", and " Fuck wit Dre Day and Everybody's Celebratin' " known as "Dre Day" for radio and television playall of which featured Snoop Dogg as guest vocalist, The Chronic became a cultural phenomenon, its G-funk sound dominating much of hip hop music for the early s.

Dre as the eighth best-selling musical artist, The Chronic as the sixth best-selling album, and "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang" as the 11th best-selling single. Besides working on his own material, Dr. Dre produced Snoop Dogg's debut album Doggystylewhich became the first debut album for an artist to enter the Billboard album charts at number one.

He collaborated with fellow N. InDeath Row Records signed rapper 2Pacand began to position him as their major star: he collaborated with Dr. Dre on the commercially successful single " California Love ", which became both artists' first song to top the Billboard Hot Later that year, he formed his own label, Aftermath Entertainment, under the distribution label for Death Row Records, Interscope Records.

Dre's former Death Row colleagues, including 2Pac, recorded and attempted to release a song titled " Toss It Up ", containing numerous insults aimed at Dr. Dre and using a deliberately similar instrumental to "No Diggity", but were forced to replace the production after Blackstreet issued the label with a cease and desist order stopping them from distributing the song.

The Dr. Dre Presents the Aftermath album, released on November 26,featured songs by Dr. Dre himself, as well as by newly signed Aftermath Entertainment artists, and a solo track " Been There, Done That ", intended as a symbolic farewell to gangsta rap. Dre produced several tracks on the Firm 's The Album ; it was met with largely negative reviews from critics.

Rumors began to abound that Aftermath was facing financial difficulties. First Round Knock Outa compilation of various tracks produced and performed by Dr.

A to Death Row recordings. The turning point for Aftermath came inwhen Jimmy Iovinethe head of Aftermath's parent label Interscope, suggested that Dr. Dre sign Eminema white rapper from Detroit. Dre produced three songs and provided vocals for two on Eminem's successful and controversial debut album The Slim Shady LPreleased in Dre-produced lead single from that album, " My Name Is ", brought Eminem to public attention for the first time, and the success of The Slim Shady LP — it reached number two on the Billboard and received general acclaim from critics — revived the label's commercial ambitions and viability.

Dre's second solo album,released on November 16,was considered an ostentatious return to his gangsta rap roots. Other tentative titles included The Chronic and Dr. Stephen Thomas Erlewine of the website AllMusic described the sound of the album as "adding ominous stringssoulful vocals, and reggae " to Dr.

Dre's style. Dre was still a force to be reckoned with, despite the lack of major releases in the previous few years. The album included popular hit singles " Still D. During the course of ' s popularity, Dr. Dre was involved in several lawsuits. Lucasfilm Ltd.

Dre over alleged infringement regarding its song "Backstrokin'" in his song "Let's Get High" from the album; Dr. Dre-produced Eminem track "Kill You" plagiarized his composition "Pulsion". Following the success ofDr.

Dre focused on producing songs and albums for other artists. The album itself earned a Grammy and proved to be the fastest-selling rap album of all time, moving This Is Not Your Job (Da Lata House Instrumental Mix). Blige for her album No More Drama in Dre was the executive This Is Not Your Job (Da Lata House Instrumental Mix) of Eminem's release, The Eminem Show.

He produced three songs on the album, one of which was released as a singleand he appeared in the award-winning video for " Without Me ". He also produced the D. Another copyright-related lawsuit hit Dr. In Februarya judge ruled that Aftermath would have to halt sales of Truth Hurts' album Truthfully Speaking if the company would not credit Mangeshkar. Dre produced or co-produced four tracks on the album, including the hit single " In da Club ", a joint production between Aftermath, Eminem's boutique label Shady Records and Interscope.

Dre was attacked by a fan named Jimmy James Johnson, who was supposedly asking for an autograph. In the resulting scuffle, then-G-Unit rapper Young Buck stabbed the man. Dre and wanted Johnson charged. Dre until Dre also produced " How We Do ", a hit single from rapper the Game from his album The Documentary[53] as well as tracks on 50 Cent's successful second album The Massacre. For an issue of Rolling Stone magazine in AprilDr.

Kanye West wrote the summary for Dr. Dre, where he stated Dr. Dre's song "Xxplosive" as where he "got his whole sound from". In NovemberDr. Planned but unreleased albums during Dr. Dre's tenure at Aftermath have included a full-length reunion with Snoop Dogg titled Breakup to Makeupan album with fellow former N. A reunion album, [10] and a joint album with fellow producer Timbaland titled Chairmen of the Board.

Dre's third studio album, formerly known as Detoxwas slated to be his final studio album. After another delay based on producing other artists' work, Detox was then scheduled for a release, coming after 50 Cent's Before I Self Destruct and Eminem's Relapsean album for which Dr.

Dre handled the bulk of production duties. Dre had around a dozen songs finished for Detox. Dre produced or co-produced 19 of 20 tracks on Eminem's album Relapse. Dre during an interview at Fenway Park as the album's first single.

Dre later announced in an interview that the song, along with any other previously leaked tracks from Detox ' s recording process, would not appear on the final version of the album. Dre with its Founders Award for inspiring other musicians. In an August interview, Dr.

Dre stated that an instrumental album titled The Planets is in its first stages of production; each song being named after a planet in the Solar System. Sporting an "R. On November 14,Dre announced that he would be taking a break from music after he finished producing for artists Slim the Mobster and Kendrick Lamar.

In this break, he stated that he would "work on bringing his Beats By Dre to a standard as high as Apple" and would also spend time with his family. Dre's third album. She stated that she had gone to Hawaii before the end of for a few weeks to work with him on "so many things" including his upcoming album and a project of her own among other unspecified projects.

Dre's third album is no longer called Detoxbut didn't reveal the new title. Parker also refrained from revealing the new title because the title hadn't been leaked online. He also told Shots Fired that there are as many as beats that have been created for the album over the years, but few of them have had vocals recorded over them.

The length of time that Detox had been recorded for, as well as the limited amount of material that had been officially released or leaked from the recording sessions, had given it considerable notoriety within the music industry.

Dre, including Snoop Dogg, fellow rappers 50 Centthe Game and producer DJ Quikhad speculated in interviews that the album will never be released, due to Dr.

Dre's business and entrepreneurial ventures having interfered with recording work, as well as causing him to lose motivation to record new material. On his Beats 1 radio show "The Pharmacy" on August 1,Dre announced that he would release what would be his final album, titled Compton.

It is inspired by the N. A biopic Straight Outta Compton and is a compilation-style album, featuring a number of frequent collaborators, including Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Kendrick Lamar, Xzibit and the Game, among others.

It was released exclusively for iTunes and Apple Music on August 7. A physical version was published on August He also revealed that he suffers from social anxiety and due to this he remains secluded and out of attention. On February 12,it was revealed that Apple would create its first original scripted television series and it would star Dr. Dre was an executive producer on the show [] before the show's cancellation sometime in Bligeand Kendrick Lamar.

Dre made his first on screen appearance as a weapons dealer in the bank robbery movie Set It Off. Dre also appeared in the movies The Wash and Training Day. Dre also appeared on two other songs "On the Blvd. In Februaryit was announced that Dr. Dre would produce dark comedies and horror films for New Line Cinema -owned company Crucial Films, along with longtime video director Phillip Atwell.

Dre announced "This is a natural switch for me, since I've directed a lot of music videos, and I eventually want to get into directing. Dre produced Straight Outta Comptona biographical film about N. In JulyDr. Dre released his first brand of headphones, Beats by Dr. Dre with some HP laptops and headsets.

Dre announced the deal on October 9,at a press event in Santa MonicaCalifornia. Dre the "richest man in hip hop", surpassing Diddy. Dre became an Apple employee in an executive role, [] [] and worked with Apple for years. During MayDr. The goal of the Academy has been stated as "to shape the future by nurturing the talents, passions, leadership and risk-taking of uniquely qualified students who are motivated to explore and create new art forms, technologies, and business models.

In Juneit was announced that Dr. The center will encompass creative resources and a 1,seat theater, and is expected to break ground in The project is a partnership between Dr. Dre and the Compton Unified School District. An urban legend surfaced in when a Tumblr blog titled Dr. Dre Started Burning Man [] [] began promulgating the notion that the producer, rapper and entrepreneur had discovered Burning Man in during a music video shoot and offered to cover the cost of the event's permit from the Nevada Bureau of Land Management under an agreement with the festival's organizers that he could institute an entrance fee system, which had not existed before his participation.

Business Insider mentions the portion of the letter where Dr. Dre purportedly states "someone should get behind this Dre's potential entrepreneurial engagement with Burning Man as a parallel to Steve Jobs ' efforts to centralize and profit from the otherwise unorganized online music industry.

Dre's ethos seems to be aligned with seven of the ten principles of the Burning Man community: "radical self-reliance, radical self-expression, communal effort, civic responsibility, leaving no trace, participation and immediacy.

The space, about the size of a college dorm room, is splattered with papers, ideas scribbled down in black ink. Nuthin' but G thangs waiting to happen. Those that don't happen end up in a round, purple L.

Lakers trash can. A kitchen, red and stainless steel like a '50s diner, adjoins the control room Dre is renowned for constantly evolving his production style through the years, while always keeping in touch with his roots and re-shaping elements from previous work. A days. A song "Dopeman". Being the first hip-hop producer to sample the song, [] Dre both paved the way for the future popularization of the G-funk style within hip-hop, and established heavy synthesizer solos as an integral part of his production style.

Dre was also one of the first producers to interpolate the then little-known drum break from The Winstons ' " Amen, Brother " in the N. A song " Straight Outta Compton ". From Straight Outta Compton on, Dre uses live musicians to replay old melodies rather than sampling them.

Dre is receptive of new ideas from other producers, one example being his fruitful collaboration with Above the Law 's producer Cold um while at Ruthless.

Dre has since been accused of "stealing" the concept of G-funk from Cold um. His album The Chronic is thought to be one of the most well-produced hip-hop albums of all time.

The influence of The Chronic and Doggystyle on the popular music of the s went not only far beyond the West Coast, but beyond hip-hop as a genre. At that time, we were listening to Snoop's album. We knew what was going on in the West through Dr. Big just knew the culture, he knew what was going on with hip-hop. It was more than just New York, it was all over. Instarting with the Murder was the Case soundtrack, Dre attempted to push the boundaries of G-funk further into a darker sound.

In songs such as "Murder was the Case" and " Natural Born Killaz ", the synthesizer pitch is higher and the drum tempo is slowed down to 91 BPM [] 87 BPM in the remix to create a dark and gritty atmosphere.

Percussion instruments, particularly sleigh bellsare also present. This style of production has been influential far beyond the West Coast. This style of production is usually accompanied by horror and occult -themed lyrics and imagery, being crucial to the creation of horrorcore. ByDre was again looking to innovate his sound. Beginning with his compilation Dr.

Dre Presents the AftermathDre's production has taken a less sample-based approach, with loud, layered snare drums dominating the mix, while synthesizers are still omnipresent. In his critically acclaimed second album,live instrumentation takes the place of sampling, a famous example being " The Next Episode ", in which keyboardist Camara Kambon re-played live the main melody from David McCallum 's jazz-funk work "The Edge".

For every song onDre had a keyboardistguitarist and bassist create the basic parts of the beat, while he himself programmed the drumsdid the sequencing and overdubbing and added sound effects, and later mixed the songs. During this period, Dre's signature "west coast whistle" riffs are still present albeit in a lower pitch, as in "Light Speed", "Housewife", "Some L. Niggaz" and Eminem's " Guilty Conscience " hook. The sound of "" had tremendous influence on hip-hop production, redefining the West Coast's sound and expanding the G-funk of the early s.

From the mids, Dr. Dre has said that his primary instrument in the studio is the Akai MPCa drum machine and sampler, and that he often uses as many as four or five to produce a single recording. He cites s funk musicians such as George ClintonIsaac Hayes and Curtis Mayfield as his primary musical influences.

Unlike most rap producers, he tries to avoid samples as much as possible, preferring to have studio musicians re-play pieces of music he wants to use, because it allows him more flexibility to change the pieces in rhythm and tempo.

I can control it better. Other equipment he uses includes the E-mu SP drum machine and other keyboards from such manufacturers as Korg, Rhodes, Wurlitzer, Moog, and Roland. Dre also stresses the importance of equalizing drums properly, telling Scratch magazine in that he "used the same drum sounds on a couple of different songs on one album before but you'd never be able to tell the difference because of the EQ.

Dre also uses the digital audio workstation Pro Tools and uses the software to combine hardware drum machines and vintage analog keyboards and synthesizers. After founding Aftermath Entertainment inDr. Dre took on producer Mel-Man as a co-producer, and his music took on a more synthesizer-based sound, using fewer vocal samples as he had used on "Lil' Ghetto Boy" and "Let Me Ride" on The Chronicfor example.

Mel-Man has not shared co-production credits with Dr. Dre since approximatelybut fellow Aftermath producer Focus has credited Mel-Man as a key architect of the signature Aftermath sound. Dre started working with Mike Elizondoa bassist, guitarist, and keyboardist who has also produced, written and played on records for female singers such as PoeFiona Apple and Alanis Morissette[] In the past few years Elizondo has since worked for many of Dr.

Dre's productions. Dre also told Scratch magazine in a interview that he has been studying piano and music theory formally, and that a major goal is to accumulate enough musical theory to score movies. In the same interview he stated that he has collaborated with famed s songwriter Burt Bacharach by sending him hip hop beats to play over, and hopes to have an in-person collaboration with him in the future.

Dre has stated that he is a perfectionist and is known to pressure the artists with whom he records to give flawless performances. Dre had made new artist Bishop Lamont re-record a single bar of vocals times. Dre has also stated that Eminem is a fellow perfectionist, and attributes his success on Aftermath to his similar work ethic.

A consequence of his perfectionism is that some artists who initially sign deals with Dr. Dre's Aftermath label never release albums. To date, none have released full-length albums on Aftermath and have apparently ended their relationships with the label and Dr. Over the years, word of other collaborators who have contributed to Dr. Dre's work has surfaced. During his tenure at Death Row Records, it was alleged that Dr. And how are you, Edna? Prince Edmund : Er, Edmund. Prince Edmund : Er, how I'm very well, and, er, and it's very good to see you, because, frankly Prince Edmund : Well, well, well, frankly…er… Gosh, you look well.

Spit it out, you horrid little scabby reptile! Prince Edmund : Er, well, frankly, everyone thought you were dead. Prince Edmund : rushing to the door No! Don't come in! Queen Gertrude : From outside the door Why not?

Have you got someone in there with you? Prince Edmund : No! Queen Gertrude : Is it a man? Queen Gertrude : You hesitated, Edmund. Prince Edmund : No, of course it isn't a sheep! Queen Gertrude : Well then, let me in! You'll be seeing me later. Erm, perhaps you'd like to borrow my horse again I mean, not that you've borrowed it before Edmund quickly removed and hid his crown behind his back Why, you look as though you've just seen a ghost!

Prince Edmund : Er, yes? Queen Gertrude : Hurry up, anyway. You're expected at the banquet! Henry is listening from the bed Prince Edmund : Erm, look, er, Mother, er… You won't tell anyone about my oversleeping, er, this morning and Or that your father has very small private parts? She moves from the closet to the bed Prince Edmund : trying to stop her Oh!

Henry Tudor : like a sheep Baaaa! Queen Gertrude : Oh, Edmund. It's the lying I find so hurtful Prince Edmund : with uneasy grin Baaaa We cut to royal banquet. That was King Richard's seat! Would you insult his ghost?! Prince Edmund : Eugh, erm, no, no — sorry. Prince Edmund : Eugh! I'm Richard. Prince Harry : to his father I've still got a couple of prisoners down in the dungeons, Father. Prince Harry : to his father Very well. Do you want them hung? Is anybody there?

King Richard IV : stood up, banged his gold wine pitcher on table three times, then held up his goblet and spoke Tonight, honored friends, we are gathered to celebrate a great victory, and to mourn a great loss. Everyone : Our triumph! Prince Edmund : shocked Oh my god! King Richard IV : to everyone Wherever he be King Richard IV : to everyone He shall be struck down!

He's there! Prince Edmund : lying It wasn't me! King Richard IV : confused Who said that?! Prince Edmund : still lying I didn't! King Richard IV : fedding up Well then, who did?! Prince Harry : It "was" actually Edmund who interrupted, Sire. Ghost of Richard IV : Hang the little slug! Raised his goblet once again Another toast: to the dead King Richard. King Richard IV : Gentlemen Gentlemen : King Richard. Thank you very much for nothing. Thank you so much.

That's the last you'll be seeing of me Produce the portrait of the pretender, Henry Tudor! A man carries the portrait down the room. People hissed and made general noises of unpleasantness Prince Edmund : recognizing the same face of Henry Tudor in his bed Oh my god! He crawled out of the room on his hands and knees Following Edmund down inner hallway. Prince Edmund : to himself Where's Henry Tudor?! Prince Edmund : Oh no! Where is he?!

Prince Edmund : He looked out the window to see a horseman riding out of the castle. It was Henry Tudor, who is running away. He ran to the door, and it was opened by the Ghost. He bowed to Ghost as he exits, and spoke scaredly respectively Thank you, thank you so much.

Edmund chased Henry on horseback out of the castle and into a meadow outside. We see the Ghost snapping his fingers, and the meadow suddenly is foggy. Edmund rode out of the fog, at a clearing in the woods, and to find three old witches, who bent over the cauldron Witches : Oooh… Oooh… Oooh… Oooh… Edmund dismounted his horse, stood next to them, and cleared his throat Witches : startled Oooh!

Goncril : Hail! Cordelia : Hail! Regan : Hail! Goncril : Ruler of men Cordelia : Ravisher of women Regan : Slayer of kings! Prince Edmund : annoyed Be gone, hideous crones! Goncril : Be not afraid Cordelia : Be not overcome with fear Regan : Be not paralyzed with terror Prince Edmund : bored Why have you lured me here, you loathsome drabs? Regan : We bear good news. Prince Edmund : What news could such repulsive harbingers convey? Cordelia : Today has brought misfortune Goncril : But one day Witches : Oh, glorious day!

Cordelia : One day Witches : Oh, happy day! Prince Edmund : paused Yes? Witches : pointed to Edmund You shall be king! Prince Edmund : excited Really?

Witches : Yes! Your Majesty! Regan : I thought he was very rude. Goncril : I thought Henry Tudor would be better looking. Cordelia : Yes, not so Jewish. Regan : More like that man who rode by before. They realized their mistake Regan : shamefully We've done it again! Cordelia : You silly witches! Prince Harry : Farewell, Father. Narrator And his slimy son Edmund to do the tasks most befitting him.

Prince Edmund : Hmm? At last, a chance for some real power! I want you scums back to the castle by sundown, or you'll all be slaughtered! Keep going! I've just about had enough of you! Sheep : Baaaaa! Prince Edmund : Shut up! Sheep : Baaaa! They began to run Prince Edmund : Come on!

No, This Is Not Your Job (Da Lata House Instrumental Mix) not the way you're going. Where are you going? No, not away from the castle! Sheep : Baaa! We cut to room in the castle Prince Harry : standing by the fire, reading a note Splendid! Edmund entered the adjacent hallway Prince Edmund : to sheep Now look, you're not supposed to be here. That's far enough, now get out!

Prince Harry : Ah, Edmund! Edmund stopped dead in his tracks in surprise, then continued walking, as though not hearing, behind a bit of a wall Edmund? Edmund reappeared, in the next doorway Ah, there you are.

Splendid news, Edmund. Father's coming home! He writes here that he'll be back by St. Leonard's Day. So This Is Not Your Job (Da Lata House Instrumental Mix) can celebrate both events together!

Edmund had just got to the fire, but now Harry pulled him aside, across the room. Edmund tried to turn toward the fire, but to no avail. He was frozen stiff Now then, I shall handle the visiting royalty, of course, er, the guards of honor, and the papal legate; and you can, er, you can sort out the frolicks.

Prince Edmund : to his dismay The frolicks? Prince Harry : Yes, the Morris Dancers, the eunuchs, and the bearded women, you know: the traditional St.

Leonard's Day entertainments. Oh damnation, though, I don't think I'm going to have enough time to attend to the drains. Edmund, you'll have to look into those as well. Prince Edmund : shivering from the cold Oh, er, yes, fine, fine. I'd, I'd be honored. Prince Harry : Good. You won't let me down, now, will you?

Prince Edmund : No, no, no, no. I'm, I'm really looking forward to it already. Thank you so very much. Prince Harry : smiled Splendid! The bastard. The bastard! Baldrick : appeared next to Edmund If only he were, my lord. Baldrick : If only he were a bastard, my lord. Then you would be regent now.

Prince Edmund : Ah, yes. And one day Percy : appeared next to Edmund and Baldrick You would be king, my lord.

Prince Edmund : Ah, yes, yes. I would be king! And then what? Prince : Precisely! It's just not fair, you know. Every other damn woman in the court has bastards, but not my mother, oh no. She's so damn pure, she hate to look down in case she notices her own breasts.

Queen Gertrude : No. Countess Celia : "No", milady? But think, he will come to your chamber and make mad, passionate love to you! Queen Gertrude : Yes, I wish he wouldn't do that.

Very difficult to sleep with that kind of thing going on. Being used all night long like the outside of a sausage roll. The jesters, the jugglers Queen Gertrude : The great brown ox, steaming and smoldering all night long. Countess Celia : Oh yes, the feast! Queen Gertrude : Sorry? No, I was thinking of something else. Countess Celia : I do hope they've got the Morris dancers.

I love them! Queen Gertrude : Yes. I like the eunuchs. Countess Celia : Oh yes, the eunuchs! I wish I owned one. Queen Gertrude : I wish I'd married one. We cut to Edmund's bedroom Prince Edmund : speaking to a woman who looks very apologetic No, no; fine, fine; it could've happened to anyone. Never mind, never mind. We've only got one act, and she shaved her beard off. Percy : There's always the eunuchs, My Lord.

Prince Edmund : Oh yes, so? The eunuchs and the Amazing Beardless Woman. What a line-up. Percy, there must be someone else, there must be! Prince Edmund : What do they do? Percy : as though that was a silly question They jump, My Lord. Percy : They come in, My Lord, and they jump It's a humorous act.

Prince Edmund : Nah dah dah! There must be something else, surely! Ah, what's this? Percy : No, no, no. I find that very moving, My Lord. Prince Edmund : Well, it better be funny, or Prick will get his comeuppance, I can tell you. Now, book him. Prince Edmund : sarcastic What do they do? Lay eggs? Baldrick : Yes, My Lord. Prince Edmund : desperate Oh, all right, all right, we'll have them, we'll have them.

There was a knock at the door, and Percy opened it to find the messenger holding out a note Messenger : My Lord Percy took the note and slammed the door in the messenger's face. Prince Edmund : slowly, and seriously The eunuchs have cancelled. Baldrick : Oh dear. Prince Edmund : Ha! I should have known, never trust a eunuch! Percy : What are we going to do? Prince Edmund : Well, I know what I'm going to do. Baldrick, give me an execution order. I'm gonna teach them a lesson they'll never forget.

I'll remove whatever extraneous parts of their bodies still remain. Edmund made out the order, and went to the door. Upon opening it, he find the messenger, who was still waiting for his tip, while holding out his hand Messenger : My Lord Prince Edmund : Take that to Lord Chancellor, thank you. Put the order in the messenger's hand and slammed the door Oh God, this is desperate! Percy : We could have the Morris dancers, My Lord. Prince Edmund : Now look, we are not that desperate!

Morris dancing is the most fatuous entertainment ever devised by man. Forty effeminate blacksmiths waving bits of cloth they've just wiped their noses on… How it's still going on in this day and age, I'll never know. Percy : confused Sorry, so do you want them or not? Edmund began jumping, hitting Percy and himself with the paper, looking like a Morris dance. Percy and Baldrick joined in, and all of them hit each other on the head with bits of paper.

Prince Edmund Prince Harry : applauds Ah, splendid! Prince Edmund : Erm, very very well indeed. Umm, I think it's going to have a slightly Spartan look. Prince Harry : What, Greek? Yes, um Prince Harry : Oh good.

Everyone turning up? Prince Edmund : Oh absolutely everyone. So many people in fact, I'm afraid I've had to let the eunuchs go. Prince Harry : Oh no no no no no no! Prince Edmund : No? Prince Harry : No! That won't do at all, not on St. Leonard himself was an eunuch. Edmund, behind Harry, shook his had "No" at Percy Percy : obeyed This Is Not Your Job (Da Lata House Instrumental Mix) head movement, but knows the correct answer Yyyyyes, that's right. Harry, confused at why Percy was shaking his head, turned back to Edmund, who was still shaking his head, and suddenly hit himself on the head with the paper, as though he was just dancing again Prince Edmund : Well, that's why I thought it might be more tactful if— Prince Harry : Oh no no no no no no no.

To leave out the eunuchs on St. Leonard's Day would be like, well, it would be like leaving out the Morris dancers, or the bearded women! Edmund, Percy and Baldrick all pretend to laugh at the absurd thought Prince Harry : Besides, Lord Dougal McAngus, the King's Supreme Commander, is expected at the feast, and, as you know, eunuchs are his particular favorite.

Prince Edmund : confused Hmm? Prince Harry : He's Scottish, you see. Prince Edmund : understands Ahhhh! Prince Harry : Good, good. Well, I'm relying on you, Edmund. Carry on. Some carrot-faced, thistle-arsed Scottish orangutan wants a eunuch, does he? They're just barbarians! Half of them can't even speak English. Baldrick : What do they speak?

Prince Edmund : I don't know, it's all Greek to me. Percy : They speak Greek? Prince Edmund : No, I mean it sounds like Greek. Percy : Well, if sounds like Greek, it probably is Greek. Percy But it sounds like Greek. Prince Edmund : Look, it's not meant to be a brainteaser, Percy! I'm simple telling you that I cannot understand a blind word they're saying!

Percy : Well, no wonder, My Lord, you never learned Greek, of course. Prince Edmund : calmly Percy, have you ever wondered what your insides look like? Percy : Sometimes, My Lord, yes. Prince Edmund : held up a knife, shouted Then I'd be perfectly willing to satisfy your curiosity!

Is that clear?! Is it?! Percy nodded, and Edmund lowered his knife Oh my God, this Scotsman's beginning to annoy me already. I can make things very difficult for him. As for these entertainments, oh, I don't know Baldrick, you've got a beard, This Is Not Your Job (Da Lata House Instrumental Mix) and get yourself a nice dress. Baldrick : excited Oh, great, My Lord! Percy : Yes, My Lord.

Oh, and, Percy Percy : Yes, My Lord? Prince Edmund : Tell him to bring a bear this time. Percy leaves, and Edmund spoke to himself The improvising last year was pathetic! A fanfare was played; enter a man, on horseback, wearing a horned helmet Prince Harry : What the devil?!

Queen Gertrude : excited Oh, but of course! McAngus dismounted his horse, removed his helmet, gave it to the guard, then took a couple bags from his horse, and approached the table Dougal McAngus : Noble Harry, Prince o' Wales, Dougal McAngus greets ye, and lays at yer feet the spoils o' an enemy at war.

Treasures torn from the torsos o' the Turks! Prince Harry : Oh, McAngus! It fills me with joy and hope to see you! Leonard, or die in the attempt. Prince Harry : God forfend! We shall pray for his safe return. Join us! You must be starving. Dougal McAngus : motioned behind him And young Lochinvar?

Prince Harry : looking toward the doorway Oh yes, and him too. Dougal McAngus : Come on, Lochinvar! He stepped over the table and sat down beside her, where Harry had motioned for him to sit, and said to the Queen Ye must be the King's wee bit o' rumpy-pumpy, eh?

Queen Gertrude : confused I am the Queen. Dougal McAngus : Aye, aye. Listen, I got a message for ye. My father asked me tae send his regards tae ye. Queen Gertrude : Do I know him? There was an extremely poorly played fanfare; Edmund entered, and sneered at the trumpeter Prince Harry : Ah, Edmund, there you are. McAngus, this is the man who's providing the entertainments for us tomorrow. Dougal McAngus : Ah, the eunuch! Prince Edmund : holding back his anger, which raises the pitch of his voice Agghh, I am not a eunuch!

Dougal McAngus : Ye sound like one tae me. Dougal McAngus : chuckled Och, ye are, are ye? Prince Edmund : Yes! Nae offense, Yer Majesty. Dougal McAngus : while eating Dinnae apologize. Edmund was quite inflamed; he bent down on his knees, because there were no chairs left Prince Harry : standing up, holding a large document Well, now we've all got to know each other, I have rather a special announcement to make.

Dougal McAngus : Dinnae tell me ye're a eunuch as well! Prince Harry : McAngus, as reward for your heroic deeds in battle, my father here empowers me to grant you anything that you may desire of me. Prince Edmund : sotto voce If he's got any sense, he'll ask for a haircut.

All I ask for is a scrap o' land. Grant me fair Selkirk, and the noble sire of Roxburgh. Prince Edmund : standing up in shock What?! Prince Harry : Very well. By the power invested in me— Prince Edmund : Er, excuse me Erm, I'm sorry to dip my little fly in your ointment, but, er, those lands do, in fact, belong to me.

Prince Harry : as if to say "So? Prince Edmund : Well, so, perhaps, perhaps he'd like to choose somewhere else. Prince Harry : McAngus? Prince Edmund : But that leaves me with Peebles! Dougal McAngus : Oh, aye! And Peebles. Prince Edmund : flabbergasted B-B—But Prince Harry : Are you trying to say something, Edmund? What an absurd idea, giving away half of Scotland to a kilted maniac for slaughtering a couple of syphilitic Turks!

I say, "Let's reward him. So be it! We cut to Edmund's bedroom where Baldrick is in a dress and wig, twirling around in front of Percy, who nodded. Percy : Who, My Lord? Prince Edmund : That stinking Scottish weasel! Baldrick : Why, My Lord? Prince Edmund : Because he's a thieving stinking Scottish weasel, that's why!

Prince Edmund : I'm gonna stab him! Baldrick : Where?

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